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Showing posts from August, 2018

my shattered heart

so i was the one to say the words, to put the ring back into your recieving hand. we were supposed to have become a happy married couple today but we became two disgruntled single people. I said I love you because I do and to talk to me if you needed to talk because I wanted you to tell me I could talk to you. You always thought that i had friends to talk to but i don't. their lives are so shiny and filled with light and to go tarnish it with my problems especially when I think I am the Problem is not feasible for me. I don't have a wonderful man anymore. I pray that he continues to find himself and grow to have a beautiful family that ill probably be envious of and a nice compassionate wife. I don't know what to do with myself. Usually people  who break up with people have somewhere to go, something to focus on. I feel like a dunce at work a pretender and i'll soon be found out and kicked out. I feel like my relationships with people all over are so shallow.

So I want to be a recluse. Again

The world isn't going to care that you aren't there anymore. The shadows will welcome your presence the seams of reality will easily tear allowing thorns to embrace unclothed skin. Your thoughts will take you further into a dooms-day future than anytime machine ever could. Your heart will burn and freeze and thaw. From your eyes will flow endless rivers and grow untamable flames. You recon neither fame nor infamy by turning in, being a one dimensional point, building up walls that reach for extraterrestrial life, digging holes past China and into another dimension, cocooning yourself with blankets as wide as space and time... You will be unmissed. What could be missed?  Fractions of a shattered shoddily mirrored glass? A magnet that dies in second? A battery unable of providing power? Holey umbrellas? shambled roofs? Unsteady rotted floorboards? Don't bother trying to be something to someone somehow. It's too late, they'll see right through you. You will see th