Heyyy.... I feel so sour..., ill at ease..., sad, full of wanting but no means of getting. I leave my house to go to a friends because its better there, more friendly. family is friendlier happier, smiling-ier. but its so sad when i'm there because I know that my house will still be messed up when I get back home and I added to the mess by leaving. So, I came back home and I want to make things better but I don't know how. I don't want o become a door mat but then again I don't want to be sloth or even worse a burden. Its times like this that I truly miss and my childhood and innocence and naivete and especially the ignorance. I would be more worried about the doll I wanted to get as a gift not how I was going to pay for my education. I would feel guilty for the much simpler and physical, like stealing meat from a pot, or breaking one ten too many dishes and then throwing them into ne...